some nights i have trouble sleeping. when that happens, i just pretend i'm at work, and...voila! problem solved.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Life In Limbo

With more than 6 hours of downtime at work on Monday, I found myself asking that nagging, ever-pervasive question:  "What am I going to do with the rest of my life?" It's something that's haunted me--and most of the people I know--for a long, long time.  For most of my life, I've shrugged it off and said, "I'll figure it out later...I still have time."

But, then...I started reading a lot about the economic superstars coming out of India, China, and South Korea...and I can't believe how hard these countries work their youth.  They realize that in order to make it in today's world...they've got to bust their asses and really go at everything they do with everything they have...and as soon as they possibly can.  Their parents push them into science and business fields and work them until they drop (something most American kids won’t stand for). They’re hungry...and they’re going out and making things happen. And it’s working! They pump out people with advanced engineering degrees in numbers that make Americans look lazy and stupid.

And, to an extent...I guess they're right...we are lazy, comparatively speaking. We think we deserve everything, but most of us aren’t willing to gut it out and make things happen for ourselves. And, let’s face it, our education system isn’t exactly airtight.  Kids with enormous potential are constantly falling through the cracks. Those of us who are lucky enough, wealthy enough, or willing to go into enough debt to graduate from college...often squander our four years and don’t make enough out of our higher education.

But I really don't think that’s the main problem.  I think, more than anything...we're unfocused.  We're unable to make a decision and go after what we want with that Asian fervor. It’s not that we can’t do the things they’re doing; we have as much potential as they do...we’re just having trouble channelling that energy into something productive. Most Americans my age are hungry, but we’re not sure what we want. There are just so many choices...so many possible avenues. How are we supposed to make a decision when the entire world is at our fingertips?

Sometimes I think the Japanese have it right. They basically force their students to choose, at the end of jr. high school, the path they'll follow for the rest of their lives.  No fuss...no muss...just a single decision, made in your youth...dictating your entire future.  

My time here has made me wonder what my life would have been like had I been forced to choose a path in jr. high school.  I imagine I would be crunching numbers as an accountant...or wasting away in a dark corner of a building, designing speakers for hi-fi systems.  I think I would probably be better off financially, but...would I be any happier? 

It’s hard to tell, but I doubt it.

I like where I am right now.  It's kind of an exciting feeling...knowing that there are still so many possibilities ahead of me (I kind of feel like a toddler in that respect). 

Besides...predictability gets awfully boring awfully fast.

But, at the same time...I think I’m wearing out my welcome here in Limbo. I think it’s about time I made a choice.

Seeing as I still have 5 months left in Japan, though...I'll figure it out later...I still have time.